Tuesday, November 30, 2004

And now a word from our sponsers....

Carpenters now a days are starving to death all over the country *carpenter guy falls over onto board full of nails* need... *cough*...food! Well now these pointless deaths can be solved with this revolutinary new invention! Turkey Tape! Just rip some off and take a bite! mmmmm tastes like momma use to make! *eyes start to water*It's made of 99.99% real artificial turkey meat! *shows turkeys in plant being plucked of feathers then flattened by by a giant metal box into a bloddy mass* This product is guarnteed to fulfill all daily nutritional values of a rodent and/or living dead and give you energy to spare! *man with hard hat holds up turkey tape and gives a big toothy smile* Before I discovered.... Turkey Tape...I would..hit my head on things that make me go ouch... and not be able to finish my work without taking a break to look at porn....I mean eat lunch. But now with....Turkey Tape... I can eat and work at the same time!? So gobble gobble!? and buy some today! *gives big toothy smile* O.K. how was *cut to phone number and product information* Buy some Turkey Tape today! Just dail 555-588-93-I want some gobble gobble in my life or else call my a fucking bastard-666-231 and order today!


hey there kids if you like to hop..LALALALALA...if your reading a book you might as well stop...doodoodoo...becasue theres a new toy in town! If you wanna fly up and fall back down! , YOU BETTER BUY LEMON POGO TODAY! no matter your race, size, shape, political opinion, type of pancake or toaster, or if you thiiink its gaaaaaaay....because we control your brain! LADADDADDAAAAAAAAAAA!! little girl: man i really like lemons...little boy: yeah and i really like pogo sticks...both:if only there was a way to have them both! ...man: now there is!! little kids : WHHHAAAAT?!?! man: yes thats RIGHT! ...little girl: oh my gosh! its ...its, well...who is it? man: ITS THE LEMON POGO STICK YO! BISH! Yes children thats right! All that you love about lemons....AND A POGO STICK! ITS A LEMON SHAPPED POGO STICK!! *hops in on pogo stick* *boing squish boing squish* AAAAAAAAA MY EYES! *as lemon squirts juice* I mean wow i want one! voice: well you children cant have any.... kids: awwwwwe, man: yeah you got to pay you little bastards! girl: i dont have any money! man: Thats simple just go beg your parents to buy you one! And if they say no, say you'll commit suicide! boy: whats a suuuwwwciiide? man: well jimmy...boy: my name is billly...man: shut up tommy, boy: its billy..
man: who cares what suicide is as long as you get your toy! kids: alright!! man: hey kids..all out there..bye a lemon pogo stick...or maybe bye five...tell your mommies and your daddies too...that if you dont get one you'll commit suicide! *little peppy jingle* Go buy one, you know you wanna! its a lemon not a llama! If you think its totally gay! I will make sure that you pay! Go buy one now, you little bastard! If you don't I'll kick your ass...rd!


*norseman walks into perfume store with a giant battle ax* *smiling blond walks over* "How may I help you sir?" "Well it's my wifes birthday today and I wanted to get her something nice. She usualy smells like burnt horse meat and I wanted to get her something diffrent." "Well sir try new Norsewoman brand Wet Dog! It's for those sexy norsewomen that want to seem
sophisticated and at the same time turn their men on!" "No thank you. How bout something else?" "Well what about this lovely animal carcass. It comes in 3 designer animals! Bear, goat, and beaver. They go well with any furniture placement and add the scent of rotting flesh to the room without wasting an outlet and don't need batterys unlike those other more expensive brands. And it only costs 10 chickens and a rabbit!" "No that's still kinda pricey. Anything I can get for a rabbit and 2 slaves?" "Of course! We have many reasonably priced gifts. How about a beautiful wrist-sundail! It accurately keeps track of months, days, and hours, glows in the dark and its solar powered!" "Wow great!" "Another satisfied customer at Norsewoman Boutique!"


Are you plauged by bad credit and can't afford even the simplest luxurys in life? *shows man trying to buy playboy* "Sorry sir your credit card is no good" Wanna get creditors off your back? *mob is beating a man on the ground with baseball bats* "We warned you when you missed you last payment on your lemon pogo stick!" Well your credit problems can be solved when you come down to Satan's Credit Union! Our staff is friendly and made up of only the finest torturers, demons, and lawyers we could find! *shows 9 foot tall muscle man with a black hood on his head wearing a suit* "How may I help you today sir?" And anybody can apply! Even if you had bad credit in the past, have low income, or even slaughtered thousands of innocent lives we will still look at your credit problems in a fair and balanced matter. All it costs is your immortal human soul! So come on down to Satan's Credit Union today! *gives the thumbs up*

Only accept souls of the real applicant. Toasters, rats, lemons, cheeses, and printers not eligible to apply. side effects may include but are not limited to living in hell for all eternity ,depression, being the eternal slave of Satan ,diarrea, having no pulse ,and sudden outbreaks of acne. Results may vary.

I would like to give credit to Amber, Loki and Taka who helped me out and gave me inspiration for this project.

Monday, November 29, 2004

Boring journal entry

Well since I havent made a journal entry for awhile i guess Ill tell you bout the last couple days. On thanksgiving I quickly ate some ham and mashed potatoes and dashed to my room. The relatives were coming over any minute and I knew I had to find a way to avoid my little cousins. I sat in my room reading for a couple hours while I heard nothing but screaming, running, crying, and the X-men theme song on full blast. Finally when the chaos subsided the first thing I did was go to check on the playstation and luckily my sis distracted them enough they never got a chance to touch it. On friday, which was International Sinkie day for you uneducated people, I just sat around all day chatting and stuff. But then when i read Loki's blog I was shocked at what I read. I just froze there thinking. I walked to my room and layed looking at the ceiling thinking deeply. I then got back online a little later and talked to Loki for a bit and asked her about what I read and had some inspiration and wrote about who judges our lives. I don't want to say exactly how she inspired me but when she read it she said that "No yahoo can show how Im feeling right now" I didn't know that it would have such an effect but it really made me feel great that she liked it so much. I was just so glad we could be so open to each other. Saturday I went to help at the Kung Fu garage sale. There weren't that many people that came in. We gave away some books a couple T.V.s and a doll or 2 but I don't thing we made much. The people that came to help just sat around reading kung fu magazines and talking. We had a couple arguments about honor on the street because my way of thinking is if someone attacks you do whatever you can to get them on the ground so my first action would be kick them in the groin. Another guy who used to be a fencer said that if you do that the other people attacking you would just fight harder knowing that you would make such a cheap shot. We then talked about anime, made some opinions about what we read in the kung fu magzines and ordered some pizza. I then oredered some Escrima sticks from the catalog and went home. The rest of my weekend and monday were just boring as usual and for some reason I can't get back to writing my storys. Anybody got some advice for writers block?

Saturday, November 27, 2004

There is no escape.....

Everybody has their problems wether it be school, chores, money, love, or trying to decide right from wrong. Everybodys problems are unique and everybody has their own way of deeling with them. Some people smoke, drink, or do other drugs to get away from their problems. Others run, eat, watch T.V., read a book, meditate, write, to try and keep their mind off problems. But in the end, no matter what you do, there is no easy way getting away from your problems. There is only one good, and healthy, way to get over your problems. And that is to suck it up and deal with! Don't turn into a drug addict or gain 30 pounds or rot your brain just because theres a little speed bump in life! Do the best you can to deal with your problems and get on with life! Just because you have a "big math test" doesn't mean you should eat a tub of rocky road ice cream! Just because your girlfriend left you doesn't mean you should become a drug addict and die a horrible painful death by lung cancer! Just because your parents split up doesn't mean you have to learn the name of every character on pokemon! And don't start smoking tobacco and say "I'm not avoiding life im just taking a little break from it." Your just making it harder on yourself because when you get off your high or pokemon is over or you finish your book or you eat the last gallon of ice cream your problems are still there. Your just prolonging the inevitable and making it harder to deal with your problems be putting it off. If some hills in life are a little bit steeper or higher than others just get put your good pair of mountain climbing shoes and start climbing and the sooner you start the faster you will be over with it and you can get on with life. Not all problems last forever but not everyone has the time to wait for someone else to build a tunnel through the hill. Everybody is dying of a disease and you only have a little time to live. That disease is life. Everyone is dying right now. If you knew you only had a week to live would you just sit on your ass watching T.V.! Well everytime you put off studying or mope around or just run around in circles or getting high your just wasting perecious time! What I'm trying to say (and I swear this is the last time I'm gonna say it) GET OFF YOUR ASS, SUCK IT UP YOU BIG BABY, AND GET IT OVER WITH ALREADY!

(This is not directed towards anyone person in general but towards everyone who is living or at least undead)

Friday, November 26, 2004

Who is the head judge who decides how we live our lives?

People judge each other many diffrent ways. How we dress,how we act,how we talk,where we're born. These are not proper basis on how to treat our fellow man. Everybody lives their life one way or another. The decisions we make, make up who we become. If someone gets caught up in a buisness and devotes their life to it they become hard working but aren't much of a people person. Someone who lives their life at home reading books gains knowledge, but not experience, of the outside world. Every decision you make can and will shape the kind of person you are. That is why in life you are your own judge. People around you may have their diffrent opinons about you but that is NOT what matters. It's what kinda person that you are that is what is really important. People get in fights to prove themselves, to protect the ones they love, to try to gain respect so that the world may look up to them and see them for who they really are. It is not the fighter that kills his enemy that deserves respect, it is the one that spares the others life that we should respect. The kind of person that knows the value of human life and can accept a person for who they are and get past the bad qualitys is who we should look up to. If someone bumps into you and makes you drop your books, they are the ones you should pity, and the person that runs over and helps you pick up your books, is truly a great person. You may hate and dispise a person but you must pity them at the same time for the poor choices they have made in life that have made them that way. But of course theres always a yin for every yang. Theres at least some good or bad in everybody. Someone that cheats, steals, and lies may find someone dying on the street and help save their life while someone that has done nothing but give to the community, always helps out, and has never told a single lie in their life may one day find them selves standing over a dead body and covered in blood. So remember that it is the choices that you make in life,there may not exactly be a right or wrong answer to every decision in life but every decision you make will effect you some how wether it be good or bad. Other peoples opinions are nothing but opinions and do not shape who you really are.

My inpiration for this was Loki. I hope it helps those who read this in one way or another.

Thursday, November 25, 2004

The REAL Thanksgiving and why america is screwed up

Everyone thinks that Thanksgiving is a day of feast and thanks for the things we have. But why exactly did the indians help the pilgrims out? I mean we were killing their people and stealing their land, its not like they said "Welcome to our neighborhood! We brought you a 100 pounds of food as a welcome gift. Oh and can you please stop trying to erase us from existence?". You can tell the history books are trying to cover something up. Thats why I am going to tell you what really happened. This information was given to me by a very reliable source (the little voices in my head) and it is all at least 99.99999999 true. It all started when the pilgrims of course landed on plimoth rock, which in backwards flesrouykcufog means 'this is what fucked up our society'. The ship and its crew was not sent out to find a new land to get away from the pressure of taxes and find freedom but it was really nothing but a party boat that got lost while the crew had a month long party. The entire ship was full of tea bags, rum bottles, pilgrim pantys, and gum in the steering wheel. All they could do was sit and wait till they crashed on land. Finally months later when they got to america of course the whole crew was extremely stoned and thought it was India and called the natives indians. After running out of food (of course they still had enough beer to get a pod of whales drunk) they went to the natives for help so they could survive the winter, the indians of coursed refused to help. But soon the indians (who origanaly called them selves onisac) hatched a plan to get back their land and kill the pilgrims by using their biggest weakness, partys. They of coursed pretended to lighten up to the pilgrims and taught them a few basic ways to survive. How to fertilize the soil, hunt, cook, among other things. Finally it was time to put their plan into action. They put together a huge feast and invited the pilgrims. They of course showed up half an hour late and went straight to eating. The indians plan was to get the pilgrims so full that they couldn't run away then kill them on the spot. But they underestimated the pilgrims and they ate the indians out of house and home. They ate and ate and didn't show signs of slowing down. Days later the feast was finally finished but by that time the indians had gave up and left. Luckily the pilgrims got their heads together, that is after they ran out of beer, and used what little knowledge the indians gave them to help survive the winter and build a society. Since then the indians have been plotting a way to take back America a diffrent way, by building casinos and using our need to gamble and party to raise money to buy back America while us Americans party, eat, and get drunk.

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

The impossible has happened......

No this is not another introduction to one of my ideas for a book (hmmmmmm.....*scribbles something down*). Something amazing and utterly unthinkable has happened. No the universe is not collapsing,or theres global peace,or donkeys have learned to walk upright and say the alphabet backwards, i mean the most impossible thing happened last night. Something no one would ever even think was possible or happen in a million years. I asked a girl out.....and she said yes!!!!!!!And not just any girl, THE MARSHNOS QUEEN!!!!!!^.^ At first I never really planned on asking this soon since we have never met in real life and aren't untill this summer but it kinda slipped out. We were chatting online and she said that when she does come to longview her 3 brothers had to come with her. And I suggested that we dump them off at the highlander and we could go to the mall or see a movie or something. Right when I was hitting enter I thought to myself "OH SHIT! NO DON'T SAY THAT YOU MORON!" but it was too late. I was in complete shock. I banged my head on the desk thinking "NO YOU MORON WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT!" Then a self beating,a cold shower,and a few minutes of utter confusion and worry later she said yes. I just about fell off my chair. I had never asked a girl out before (except one time but she quickly said no) and she actually said yes! A direct quote from me is "I'm as giddy as a school girl!" I have no idea why I said that, I guess the utter shock made me temporarily insane. I then said good night and walked to my bedroom as calmly as possible so as not to make my parents supicious and ask questions (if they did it would be a horrible merciless torture for months to come) and then calmly closed my door and exploded. I was jumping up and down,I was dancing, and screaming "I CANT BELIEVE THAT JUST HAPPENED!" I know it wont be untill summer that we see each other but I guess it took the pressure and anticipation off a little wondering how she would respond off me. I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE SHE ACTUALLY SAID YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ^.^ *calms self down* O.K. now to think of a way to ditch the brothers. Anybody got any suggestions?

Saturday, November 20, 2004

Is life a game of skill or chance?

I was just watching the movie Bookies and got to thinking is life a bunch of random events that you have to go through and just and pray that your lucky enough to get out on top? Or is everything in life in a predetermined pattern that can be figured out? Well lets take a simple flip of a coin for instance. Everybodys flipped a coin if you cant decide on something. Like if your going to have a mountain dew or dr. pepper,or study for a big math test or just play video games,or even if your going to go out with someone or not. That one coin can send you down many diffrent paths. Sort of like that saying that a butterfly in china can start a chain of events that lead up to a tornado in america. If that coin lands on heads and you decide to drink the dr. pepper instead of a mountain dew your life can completely change. In some wierd accident a screw could have fallen into the dr. pepper,you drink it,nearly choke,sue the company,get rich,live a happy life in beverly hills and live on nothing but dr. pepper for the rest of your life. Or you could drink the mountain dew,get hyper,trip,land on a knife,bleed to death and die. Some people could say that life is nothing but a pattern and once you figure it out you can lead a happy life. But of course it is one tough pattern to figure out because at any given time millions of things could possibly happen. You could be sitting at your desk listening to a song you just downloaded on the internet. At that very point in time many things could happen. The FBI could raid your house and fine you 100,000 for illegal file swaping,you chair could suddenly break,your batterys go out,your headphones break,a meteor hits your house,some random killer could decided to break into your house and club you to death with a sausage (sorry I always try and make my entry at least a little funny),you can just never tell whats going to happen next because theres so many things that can happen and never be predicted. This is my next idea for a mini series. A coin that lets you see the possible out comes of your life. When it is flipped you must make a decision and live through your life and when you die you can return to that very moment where you flipped the coin and make a diffrent decision and live through your life again and see what really would have happened if you made a diffrent decision. The coin can only be used once and in the end you must decide how you want to have lived your life. But would this take all the fun out of life knowing whats going to happen next and always knowing what the right answer to every decision is? Or would it just be more fun knowing how to always come out on top?

Monday, November 15, 2004


Ok I'm gonna try and make up for that sappy entry last time so heres something completely random. I have 2 ideas for short stories. The first I thought of in english today when I was thinking that imaginary friends should be able to vote then suddenly for no reason I thought what if all imaginary friends be came real and decided to take over the world? Ok not exactly a solid idea (that and I think I'll try and stop thinking of random things taking over the world) but I'm most likely gonna do something along those lines. Another idea I was thinking of was a reality show like The Real World with The Grim Reaper (who is actually a girl),a hippie , a 90 year old ninja, a alien obsessed with burnt toast, a lemming that wants to run for president, and an apple. They then have to live in trailer park for 3 months with nothing to eat but spam. (and if for some reason that you can't tell I just had sugar)

Saturday, November 13, 2004

my thoughts about love

I have noticed something that greatly seperated humans from other animals. We have changed the meaning of love. Originally love was ment for 2 people to find each other,mate,have children,then it starts over. But now people have love less sex and sex less love. Now people have changed love to something more. There are many ways to display love. Showering them with gifts,hugging,kissing,sex, but of course anyone can give someone a gift or hug (well it might be awkward hugging some random guy on the street) so its really hard to show true love. The way I see it theres only one way to truely show that you care about someone. And that is to always be there. Always be there and try and comfort each in times of need. Love is a tricky thing to try and find. You cant go looking for love because the harder you look people are only going to take advantage of you but you can't just sit around and hope it falls in your lap on a silver platter. Because of how hard it is to find true love the ones that have truely are the lucky one.

Friday, November 12, 2004

update/diary entry

I have created diffrent blogs for my diffrent storys so that my pages are more organized. My friend amber just created a short story about me that you might want to check out at her page. http://mywittleblogofthingies.blogspot.com She decided since I was putting her in my story she would make a story about me so go ahead and check it out. I'm currently woking on my new story Were-dracu-stein-reaper. Since I did lemmings versus penguins awhile ago you can see how I've improved sorta. It actually took me less time to make w.d.s.t.r. than it did LVP and its alot longer. Well anyway time to quit advertising my storys and get to the blog entry. Yesterday my sister and I watched Final Destination 1 and 2. It really kinda gets you thinking that you could die at anytime in some sorta wierd way. Like when the news van eplodes causing the barb wire fence to fly at some guy and cut him up like a pizza. See when I die, I don't want to just die in my sleep. I want it to be some insane accident like getting hit by a meteor the size of a golf ball or getting mauled by a rabbit or something else that people thought was impossible untill it actually happens. No that I'm saying I want to die its just I want it to be one of those deaths that really make people think. Shifting gears a little bit here, I dont get people who commit suicide because their boyfriend or girlfriend left them. I mean what a stupid reason to die. Its like when the cops keep some guy from jumping they ask "Why did you try and kill yourself?" and he says "Well my girlfriend turned out to be a cheap whore so I decided theres no reason to live" "Come on thats no reason to kill your self theres plenty of other whores out there for you! You just gotta know where to look." I mean its just plain stupid. If your girlfriend or boyfriend decides to leave you its their choice and theres no reason to get mad. The only real reason to be mad when you break up is if it turns out the other persons been cheating on you and you find out. But if they actually tell you their cheating on you then break up and at least stay friends. Ok enough of my ranting im gonna go watch some saturday morning cartoons. And yes I still watch cartoons. My motto is you have to act like a kid while you still are a kid. Also I believe in the saying your as old as you feel so that means Im gonna be trick or treating untill the day I die!
(update: I forgot its friday *smacks head* Whenever I have a extra day off school I think its saturday. But im still gonna watch cartoons!)

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

First entry (and me with out my marshmallows)

Well first entry i guess so ill start off with a plee for help. If anybody is reading this I need help writting a letter to this girl that I like. Long story short she lived near me,we were friends,she moved to a diffrent state,we are really good friends and I call her sometimes and she calls me we chat online that kinda stuff. Ok I have no idea what to write. I was thinking maybe a poem or my random thoughts that are running through my mind. If anybody has any suggestions go ahead and contact me. Well anyway to the diary part i guess. Today just a boring day. In gym i got pelted with volleyballs in dogeball,i had a test in english i think i flunked,my gym teacher called the class boners,and i had the same song stuck in my head for 2 weeks. DAMN YOU BANANA PHONE! But at least one of my friends said he'd buy my some marshmallows and I ordered a band hoody. My nicknames lemming!!! WHOOHOO! (sorry if i sound kinda strange im deprived of marshmallows)