Tuesday, May 31, 2005

The Dangers of Peanut Butter and Strangers: Locker Room the Mini Series

FINALLY! The next installment of the Dangers of Peanut Butter and Strangers series! I'm going to be trying and make a few episodes about the conversations in locker room I have with my friends Daniel (Woodchuck) and Nathan (Prairie dog). I'm not going to guarantee that the conversation is represented word for word 100% but I'll try my best. Hopefully I will be able to create a couple more but I can't promise it. I guarantee that this conversation did take place even though it may not be perfectly represented I have tryed my best to reproduce it. Warning!: Do not attempt any of these stunts at home. We are complete morons and only morons like us may attempts such stunts.

Woodchuck and Lemming where conversing in the swim locker room after a brisk 5th period swim. "I be a swedish pirate yar!" Lemming said in his best swedish accent. "I but a swedish pirate I be while a smokin my weed aye! My weed be my best friend...untill I smokes it then I be getting a new friend! Yee be getting my drift arr!" Woodchuck said trying to mix pirate, swedish, and reggae accents together. The locker room seemed to always be full of the strangest conversations. Maybe it was the atmoshphere knowing you could just act like a guy without any girls over hearing you, maybe it was the great weather they were having that made them energetic, or maybe it was simply overdoses of chlorine from the pool. "Aye but what about the moose!" Lemming said opening his locker which was placed right under his friend Prairie Dog's locker "What the hell are you guys on?" Prairie Dog said as he never quite understood what either of them ever talked about. "Oh! I have to tell you about the Eskimo!" exclaimed Lemming jumping up and down. "Ok, my english teacher has an aunt who is pure eskimo and drop dead gorgeous. Shes the average attractive female republican with her hair up in a bun, high heels, pearls and such and one day they're driving down a back road and a moose jumps out in front of them and hit it head on. So her aunt gets out of the car, then whips out a knife and guts the sucker on the side of the road!" "What!?" woodchuck just stares at Lemming strangley. "I'd love to see some hot chick gut a moose." he said laughing and suddenly Lemming bursts out "It's eskimo porn! 'It's like cut it open slower baby. Ooooooo deep fry that heart!' " The entire time this strange and awkward fantasy is being explained Prairie Dog is just kinda standing there staring at them as if they were two escaped mental patients "You don't deep fry the heart!" he said finally joining in the madness. "Well there are alot of freaky fetishes out there!" Lemming said laughing as he closed his locker and put the lock on it. "You guys are just wierd....." said Prairie Dog walking out of the locker room after he got his pants on. "Lemming! Lemming! It's like 'AAAAAAA!!! I got grease on my chest!' " Woodchuck pretended to grab his chest in pain " 'AAAAAA!!!! It hurts but it feels good at the same time!' " Lemming added " 'Wait...is that peanut oil? I'm allergic to peanuts!' " as he cringes on the floor. "I'm dying slowly but it feels goooooood!!' " "Aye he be dead but yar! That means more weed for me! Arr me meatballs!" Woodchuck said running out of the locker room.

So the moral of the story......ummmm you tell me cause hell if I know. I was part of that conversation and hell if I understand most of it. ARR!!!

Sunday, May 29, 2005

First Journal entry in a loooooooong time

From now on I think I'll go ahead and keep some journal entrys to give myself something to do when I'm bored beyond belief but I'll probably only do one once every couple days. But now onto current events. This last week I've been wanting to talk to Loki so bad that I felt kinda empty...and today I finally talked to her!! n.n I was afraid to call cause I had no clue whether she was still in washington or in ohio. But we didn't really talk long since it's getting pretty late T.T soooo sad. And since we had such a short time to talk I forgot to ask her something REALLY important. On the 15th of next month my family and I are going to Arkansas for a few weeks. But the problem is Loki said she would come to Longview around the same time, or at least I think she is because her brother was very vague when he tried to explain when she was coming. (please Loki, if your reading this could you tell me when your coming or at least when you think your coming? Your bro said you would be coming in 2 weeks because your lil bro was going to alaska but he didn't exactly say 2 weeks from what.) Well anyways, onto current events.....again. Today I swimming at the YMCA with Ashely. I invited Joel to come along but turns out he was busy and Stephanie was suppose to come to but she didn't show. We mostly just swam around in the little heated pool the entire time and talked. We talked about nothing inparticular and she told me some things that I would have never guessed about my friend Jeremy (mwhuahaha I can't wait to bug him about the time he wore a pink dress to school)What I really like about the smaller pool is it has this cool whirlpool thing that you can float around in circles in but all the little brats were in it so I kept bumping into them. It was pretty fun though and as usual she tried to get me to go to a play but I keep telling her "I can't go to a play! Im not cultured enough! I'd die from the over fancy dialouge!" (cultured.....yogurt) Yesterday at Kung Fu was great. The entire time we did padded stick sparring ^.^ lol it was some of the most fun I've had at a saturday class. He also took aside us people in the demo team and gave us tricks to use against everyone else. After class Sifu started talking about something that's really gotten me thinking. Turns out he was secretly testing us. Whenever one of us walked in the door to the academy he asked "How are you?" and everyone either said "Good." or "Fine." He pointed out that people rarely think about what they are actually saying, they just simply say the first thing that comes to mind and don't give it a second thought. What he was trying to say is that people need to think about what they mean when they say stuff other wise your.....just saying stuff. Kinda makes you think doesn't it? oh! I now officially have a fan club! It's 1 person (other than my friends of course) but that still can be a club! Now to make the club jackets!

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

The Power of Nothing

The darkness does not consume,
It does not destroy nor blanket,
Only taking place of the light,
Hiding everything and everyone from sight,
The cold embrace of the wind,
Chilling to the bone,
The feeling of being dead,
The emptiness focusing,
Becoming one with you,
and forcing you to face the world,
The absence of joy is filled,
Causing the heart to blacken
As the coldness of the world harden it,
Slowly destroying,
Yet it is nothing,
Only absence,
Collapsing upon yourself,
From the weight of your life,
With no support,
Except from your crushed soul,
As you struggle to support such immense weight,
Sweating under the load,
And wishing to give up,
Not knowing how to deal,
As you cry in the darkness,
Where non can hear nor see,
Wishing for it all to come to an end,
It is the disease of nothingness,
The feeling of being alone,
The feeling of being hopeless,
The feeling of being empty,
There is but one cure,
To brighten the world with a smile,
To warm the heart with a hug,
To fill the emptiness with love,
To love the world and all it offers,
To love the friends that help,care and support you,
To find the strength within you,
A strength that is boundless.
Do not let the nothing take over,
By always keeping light in your heart
And finding the good in your life,
Forever keep something in your heart,
And you can be saved,
Because nothing is fatal....