Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Strange Fruit

This is the creepiest song I have ever heard in my freaking life.....I swear this is one of the most morbid things I have ever heard....

Strange Fruit by Billie Holiday

Southern trees bear strange fruit,
Blood on the leaves and blood at the root,
Black bodies swinging in the southern breeze,
Strange fruit hanging from the poplar trees.

Pastoral scene of the gallant south,
The bulging eyes and the twisted mouth,
Scent of magnolias, sweet and fresh,
Then the sudden smell of burning flesh.

Here is fruit for the crows to pluck,
For the rain to gather, for the wind to suck,
For the sun to rot, for the trees to drop,
Here is a strange and bitter crop.

This song is going to be a question on our test somehow and we listened to it in english because we were reading to kill a mockingbird that deals with racism. If you can't tell this song is about lynching in the south and how horrific it is. Actually, there is more to it than just hanging the "guilty" but is a bit more.....thorough than most people think. The accused is set on fire, shot, beaten, dragged for miles behind a car, whipped, and then hanged. Such displays of brutality were actually public displays that even children came to for entertainment. Theres horrible events have decreased in frequency but have not completely disapeared. 2003 was going to be the first year since the formation of the Klan that noone was lynched but in december it happened. Our world is no where near perfect and it will never be because it takes just one person to make a diffrence, whether it be positive or negative. Not everyone in this world can be happy, its simply impossible and neither is everyone thinking the same way there for there will always be "good" and "evil".

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Love Unseen, Chapter 1 (or so) (unrevised)

This is a story I have been worked on for a while and then kinda forgot about it. It was originaly suppose to be a christmas present but it didn't get done in time. I worked on it for a while and some stuff happened and I got distracted from it but I decided to begin working on it again. I might also do some revision in the coming weeks so when those this one will be marked unrevised and when the final copy of it is done then I will repost it and begin again working on more of it. (sorry for lack of paragraphs, blogger sucks and im lazy)

A slight breeze blew by in the starry night sky. There is not a sound except the rustling of the trees. Suddenly a blood curdling scream is let out from a nearby cave “Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!” and a loud thud. Within the cave standing in the dim candle light is a man. He is mumbling to himself and with each passing word he begins to look more and more distressed. Soon his mumbling begins to get louder and louder “Shubafadakeeba flookgan shoobata” he says as his eyes begin to bulge and a vein starts popping out of his head. He clenches his fist tight and begins to scream “Tagoobada troogan shabooda veegan KABBADEE!!” He pauses for a second staring out at the night sky suddenly seeming calm with a big grin on his face. But then as if stabbed in the head with a dagger, he bends down and grabs his head. He stands in front of the wall and stares at it blankly. Then suddenly, he reels back and smashes his head against it repeatedly. “Shut up brain shut brain SHUT UP BRAIN!” he begins screaming as his head becomes red and starts to bleed until finally with one last blow to the wall, he collapses on the ground in a heap leaving a dripping bloody mark on the wall. Right before passing out he utters quietly to himself as if praying for thanks “Silence…” while staring at a empty picture frame on a small wooden table. Through out the night nearby villagers of Flager began rumors that the cave was haunted or housed a ferocious monster. The rumors spread like wild fire through the night but many still went about their daily business.
“Fresh dragon berries picked from the finest grove known to man!” a vendor yells out in a crowded market place. The streets have been busy from the summer trade route that moves through town every year. This has lead to many pickpockets, rich snobs, moronic mountain men, and some of the strangest crazy people you would ever meet. People became accustomed to this and it didn’t feel like summer unless you lost your wallet and ran into some man screaming about lemmings taking over the world. The town of Flager was know for its large population. With this large population, many rumors spread throughout the kingdom making people paranoid. One day a kid threw a rock in front of someone’s window and everybody thought there was a new species of gray birds that were out to eat flesh. So the next day they ran around with their pitchforks and torches killing all the ‘gray birds’ they could find. Lucky for them they all appeared to sleep on the ground in large groups. Since that day Flager has been know to have the greatest minds of all time yet filled with a large amount of illiterate bums that would believe anything.
A fat man that smelled of rotting fish comes up to a cart and greets the vendor “Hey Daniel how’s business?” “Oh can’t complain. I’ve been selling lots of apples but for everyone I sell another disappears.” the vendor says as the fat man laughs “Well I guess it’s that time of year.” “Yeah, some man came up to me the other day asking if I wanted to buy some butter made from cats milk.” the vendor says shaking his head “Weird people” “What did he look like?” the fish man asked “Well he a lot of scars on his face and smelled kinda like cat urine.” “Oh! I just remembered something.” the man shouts out. “Hey have you heard about what happened last night?” the man asks quietly as he leans in over the cart “Hear about what?” the vendor asks as he also leans closer “There is said to be a horrible monster in that cave in the middle of the forest. Me and a bunch of other men were planning on go there to take a look. You wanna join?” the man says as he stands up again and begins talking normally. “I don’t find that very wise.” a cloaked figure says standing behind the man. “I have seen the monster and it is huge. It would tear through your men and never give it a second thought.” the mysterious person says warningly “Well then what do you suggest we do!?” the man retorts “I will take care of it myself.” the figure says walking through the crowd and out of town. “Weird people.” the vendor says shaking his head.
Later on a dusty path leading to the forest the hooded figure removes the hood. The hooded figure turns out to be a beautiful woman. She has long flowing blond hair and a star on her forehead. She seems to be very strong and stands at least 6 feet tall with large wings folded under her cloak. “What has that man done this time?” she says with a sigh. “I’ve been hearing rumors of this man everywhere and everybody thinks he is a monster. Maybe I can finally catch him and find out who he is.” Delthia says with new found energy. She puts on her hood and dashes down the path towards the forest with amazing speed. She wished she could just fly but knowing these parts if someone saw her she would be struck down with out question. Nobody ever actually thinks for themselves, but rely on rumors she thought to herself.
Soon she entered the forest and made her way to the cave. Standing behind a tree she peaks into the cave. There seems to be nobody inside so she walks over carefully trying not to make a sound incase the man is in the cave but she cannot see him. Finally entering, she looks around to find nothing inside. “Damn, looks like I just missed him.” she says taking a look around noticing a dark mark on the wall that seems to be blood. “Jeez, what happened here?” she says feeling the wall finding the blood to be dry but still a little moist. She takes a step backwards trying to get a better look of the cave and accidentally kicks something. Delthia stops and takes looks behind her to see a gold locket on the ground. “What’s this?” she bends down and reaches for it but suddenly a man runs in and snatches it away. “Hey that’s not yours! Well it isn’t mine either, but still, give it back!” She yells at him as she gives chase. After running for a quarter of a mile she soon loses him and gives up. “I’m just not lucky anymore. Might as well head back to my keep.” She says with a sigh as she walks east towards the cliff.
Arriving at her keep she drops her cloak and stands at the edge of the cliff looking down below. The sea crashes against the cliff with a great green reef below. She stares longingly out towards the sea. “God I miss him.” she says with a sigh thinking of her mate. A man then stumbles out of the forest. Delthia just continues to zone out completely lost in thought. The strange man trips and falls face down on the ground and mumbles to himself. Delthia takes a brief glance at the man but goes back to thinking. The man gets up and walks over to the edge of the cliff. He seemed to be in his own little world and Delthia decides to just leave him alone. He takes a brief glance noticing Delthia but went back to mumbling to himself. She hears his mumbling, but she can’t make out a word. It seemed he was speaking gibberish “Tragooban racakana vakyfary” he said quietly to himself with tears in his eyes. She notices a bloody mark on his forehead and the locket around his neck. He slowly stands up saying in English “There is but only one way to gain complete silence.” he says softly. He opened the locket and stared into it deeply, even though it appeared to be empty. Closing the locket and putting it in his pocket he looks towards the sea. Delthia opens her wings preparing to fly as the man bends his knees to get ready to jump.
The strange man begins talking to himself again with tears growing with each passing word. “There is no order in my mind, nothing but the insanity of a thousand mad man wrapped up in the inner thoughts of a poet. For every thought that passes my mind thousands of possibilities flash by in a second. I can not have a moment of peace for silence is impossible. With each passing breath my mind becomes more chaotic. With each passing hour sleep becomes as inane of thought as the idea of walking on the moon.“ he wipes the tears from his eyes as his words become more powerful “Every day I think of nothing but a love that can not be found, for the distance that separates us is immeasurable. There is not much for me to do before insanity takes over clear thinking, for I always think of her more and more. This is the only way.” With his final words he leaps over the cliff with a smile on his face.
Delthia takes off at a dive towards the suicidal man with her arms out stretched. She presses her wings hard against her trying to get every ounce of speed possible. The man seamed to have his eyes closed with the same eerie smile on his face. She reaches out and grabs the scruff of his neck and unfolds her wings. With a big jerk they suddenly slow down and she begins to fly upwards. Upon reaching the top she flies him over under a tree and plops him down. “What the hell is the matter with you!? I don’t like people coming to my keep to kill themselves.” she says furiously. The man gets up and attempts to make a run for the cliff but Delthia shoves him to the ground. Attempting to get up he shouts out “You don’t understand!” but with another push he’s quickly back to the ground. He gives up and sits with his head between his knees “You just don’t understand my pain.” “I do to understand your pain.” she bends down and put her hand on his shoulder “I am without my mate for years, and it’s driving me stir crazy, but I do not want to bring him such pain by killing myself” she says trying to comfort him. “This is much different.” he says with frustration. “How so?” she attempts to put her hand on his shoulder but he scoots away again. “My ‘mate’, as you would put it, is pretty damn far away.” “Well go to her.” she says as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I can’t, we are separated by more than just miles. It’s more of a matter of….well time.”
“We both live in a different time and space. She is trapped in a dimension of nothingness while I am here. We don’t know why, but we are in love. We are exact opposites, yet the same in many ways. We have never met, yet we know each other more than anyone.” he stands up and begins to cry again “How would you feel in my situation!? I wish to give her a loving embrace, but that shall never happen! At least you have met the one you love and have a chance of him returning!” he begins walking backwards towards the forest but he trips on a rock falling on his back. “I am cursed. Cursed to always think about her till the day I die. So I began to go insane. It continues to grow and grow taking over my mind. But soon my insanity will grow so much that it will spread to others. It will spread like the plague, soon driving everyone to the brink of madness. You may not believe me, and find me as just a madman, but what I tell you is true. And I must do what I have came here to do.” He then gets up and makes a run for the cliff but Delthia just sticks out her foot and trips him. While the man was slightly dazed, she walked behind a tree and appeared again with some rope, binding his hands and feet. “O.K. that will hold him for a while.”
Waking up the man struggles in his bonds “Let me go!” “No there has to be another way, you can’t just kill yourself.” the man stops struggling and tries to calm himself “There is another way but it is near impossible. I must find a gateway to her dimension. But upon reaching that dimension I must pass great obstacles and challenges created by an almighty overseer whose soul purpose is to keep us apart.” he says seeming depressed “I have searched far and wide but I cannot find it.” “Well is that all you have to do? You really shouldn’t take the cowards way out by killing yourself. You must continue searching and I can help you.” Delthia says with a smile on her face and puts her hand on his shoulder and he doesn’t even attempt to pull away. He suddenly has a smile on his face and says “Thank you, I would greatly appreciate your help. My names Cire.” She begins to untie him and says “I’m Delthia, pleased to meet you.” as she helps him up onto his feet.
Delthia and Cire headed back to town hoping there might be a rumor going around about a dimensional door. Knowing this town, they are bound to find some information. Walking through the market place they look for a well know psychic. He is said to be eccentric but his visions are true. “I have heard of this psychic before, The Trupaokl. I think I met him once in a field grazing on some grass.” Cire says “Strange fellow.” Suddenly Cire stops and stares blankly at a wall. Delthia waves her hand in front of his face “Hello? Cire snap out of it!” she says smacking him. “Huh? What? Oh sorry I…I got to thinking again.” cire says seeming startled that Delthia slapped him “Well keep your mind occupied. Here I think I know a way.” she says rummaging in her pocket and pulls out a sort of disk “It’s called a yo-yo.” she says handing it to Cire “Maybe that will keep you entertained.” Cire just stares at the yo-yo and puts it on his finger and letting it drop “Oh. Yeah great fun.” “No you make it go down then make it go up and catch it.” He then tries this smacking himself in the jaw his first couple attempts but he soon gets the hang of it. “Ok now back to finding that Trupaokl guy.”
Cire and Delthia searched the entire day, but to no avail. Giving up hope they headed out of town wandering the country side hoping to maybe see him walking around. “What does The Trupaokl look like anyway?” Delthia asks questionably “Trust me you’ll know when you see him.” Cire says with a laugh. Suddenly a man jumps out of the bushes screaming “Take that! Who the Trupaokl, who the Trupaokl!” Delthia leans over and whispers to Cire “umm. I’m guessing that’s him?” “Don’t you understand!? With gravity slain now we can fly!” The Trupaokl says jumping in the air and falling face first “Damn it! The penguins have caught onto my plans.” looking up Trupaokl says “Oh hello there. What can I do for ya?” Trupaokl says standing up and brushing himself off. “Well we need some information and we thought you could help us.” Delthia asks approaching him “We would..” “No! We mustn’t talk out here.” The Trupaokl says cutting her off. Looking around he walks through the bushes he came out of and headed down the path “Someone could here us.” Delthia follows him with Cire behind her “Are you sure he really sees things?” “Yes. He may act strange but he is reliable. He just has his good days and his bad days so try to put up with him.” Cire says to Delthia trying to keep up “Well what kinda day does this look like?” she says with a laugh “Well judging from his lack of human feet necklaces, broken bones, tree sap in his pants, sheep’s bladder over his head, and the fact he has his cloths on, I would say pretty good. I’ve heard a lot about this guy. Whatever he says or does just humor him. We need to gain his trust.” Cire says ducking under a tree branch.
Upon reaching the cabin, Trupaokl began to do what seemed to be some sort of dance. Each step he took it looked like he was walking on hot coals and his arms were waving around like wet noodles “Umm. Excuse me Trupaokl but what are your doing?” Delthia asks with a look of confusion on her face. “It’s called the jello dance.” Trupaokl says while shaking his butt in the air “It summons flaming jello from the sky to smite your enemies!” “Oh. Of course, the jello dance…” Delthia says trying to muffle her laughter. “This is serious!” Trupaokl stops and looks coldly at Delthia “I must stop the penguins before their plan is complete!” after spinning on his head 5 times and hopping on one leg while spinning around flapping his arms around like a bird he finally got up and walked calmly to the door. “Don’t forget to wipe your feet.” with wide eyes Delthia and Cire slowly walk to the door “Cire, are you sure this guy hasn’t been kicked in the head by one to many mules?” “Come on Delthia, at least give the guy a chance.” “I would rather give a chance to a drunk with a spear in his head.”
Walking inside Cire and Delthia the first thing they notice a large box of walnuts in the middle of the floor. “Okay, I knew he was nutty but this is not what I meant.” Delthia snickered.

Monday, April 18, 2005

Coming soon....

Sorry for the intensity of my last post. I wasn't in the best of moods and I really needed to vent off some of my emotions. I guess after what happened someting kinda snapped and I just wrote and wrote without thinking. All I did was write what I felt and basically thought if anyone disagreed, screw them. Soon I will make at least 2 entries in View of the Pretendor for the lack of posts and after some insperation surprisingly from a comedian. 1 will be a short story about how to not waste certain moments in life and another about the importance of letting off some steam now and then, which I have just learned how greatly important it is to do. I also might make a 3rd dealing with racism but I dont exactly have a structure worked out to write it yet so it might be a while. I'll do my best to get the posts up as soon as possible but I'll also try to take my time. To all those that care, I am feeling better after what happened and I will use what I learned from it to benefit me in the future.

Saturday, April 16, 2005


This is again one of those depressing kind of posts yet I wish to give those who read this a little piece of my mind. My aunt has just passed away not even a few hours ago today. My mom is broken up and crying and we offer her hugs but I know that can not fill the hole. Wanna know what? I am fucking tired of hearing this god damn shit about there being no meaning in life and people fucking crying over it! There is no meaning in life, DEAL WITH IT! I agree there is no meaning of life but who gives a flying fuck about it? Your living right now,right this instant and theres nothing that can change that! There is no meaning in life unless you make one. Our point in life is to make babys that make babys that make babys ect. but you can make a meaning for life by yourself. Do what makes you happy in life is all that matters. If you die do you want to be happy and smiling or sad and crying? Dont say it doesnt matter! Think for 1 second would you want to be happy or sad. The answer 100% of the time is happy! SO MAKE YOUR LIFE LIKE THAT! Dont be moping about saying "oh theres no meaning in life,i should just die right now cause it wouldnt matter." if you say that someone should fucking sock you in the face! IT DOES MATTER! Everything you do matters in some shape or form! Every little miniscule choice you make never just effects you but effects also the others around you. Dont be a god damn selfish asshole and just be a sad loser because it will effect the others around you. Alot of people say they are alone but you know what? Your not alone EVER! You have friends if you say you dont go make some and be happy. WHY NOT BE HAPPY! WHY IN THE SEVEN HELLS WOULD YOU NOT WANT TO BE HAPPY! Some say that they dont "deserve" to be happy when everyone has the right to. Again, just do whatever makes you happy and who cares what others think. There is no meaning in life unless you make one unlike millions of others sad mopping people. Just deal with it and say "Screw it Im just going to have fun!" Fun is what life is all about. If you like to ski,go ski,if you like to play sports,play sports,if you like to have sex,have sex,but dont be do something stupid and hurt others in the process because would you want to be the one to ruin someones life? Well if you do then go ahead asshole and have that weight bare on you for the rest of your selfish life! Again I say it, WHY NOT BE HAPPY AND HAVE FUN! If it makes you happy and feels good DO IT! Theres no reason not to. THERES NO REASON NOT TO! THERES NO REASON NOT TO! THERES NO REASON NOT TO! THERES NO REASON NOT TO!THERES NO REASON NOT TO! THERES NO REASON NOT TO! THERES NO REASON NOT TO! THERES NO REASON NOT TO!THERES NO REASON NOT TO! THERES NO REASON NOT TO! THERES NO REASON NOT TO! THERES NO REASON NOT TO!THERES NO REASON NOT TO! THERES NO REASON NOT TO! THERES NO REASON NOT TO! THERES NO REASON NOT TO!THERES NO REASON NOT TO! THERES NO REASON NOT TO! THERES NO REASON NOT TO! THERES NO REASON NOT TO! LISTEN TO ME! I dont care whatever someone says I will just jam that mother fucking thought into your head untill you listen! As the song gos "Dont worry,be happy" And suicide is the most low and stupid thing you could ever do. Those who even THINK about it are short sighted and ignorant! Do you know the effects it will have on those around you!? Even those you dont know will be effected! Everyone that has ever come in contact with you will be effected so DONT BE A SELFISH ASSHOLE AND DO SUCH A THING! Wanna know why I am so pissed off at this subject? Because I have seen those and have come in contact with those who gone so far to think that there is no reason to live and I have just wanted to slap them right then and there and scream and yell untill they finally get my point! Dont be such a self pity loser and actually take action to be happy! I WILL SAY IT A MILLION TIMES MORE! THERES NO REASON NOT TO! Make a goal or meaning in life that makes you happy and stick with it. Strive towards it no matter what anyone says or does just do whatever you want in life if it makes you happy. That is all that matters in life. You are not born with a meaning you have to make one yourself and only those who dont are unhappy. Create your own motivation to live or you can just give up and leave this world. Its your choice and only you can decide. Do you want to die and corrupt others lives and create sorrow in the ones you love and ever complete strangers? Or do you want to live life to its fullest and be happy? I leave you with this simple question and I dare someone to give me resonable aswer. Why not be happy?