Monday, January 30, 2006

Finally sumn positive ^^

I had an awesome day today! It was the beggining of the new semester so all our grades restart and we get new schedules and everything. The only class that changed was swimming so my World History class was moved from 2nd period down to 5th and I now have Aerobic Walking second period. The day started out a bit unlucky though, I was walking to the bus stop and when I got there I remembered that I had Loki's letter in my pocket so I had to go back to my mailbox and mail it but I was just in time for the bus. Of course when I got to school Alec, Brent, and I went to the cafeteria and got our new schedules and I was 3rd in line which was awesome cause right after I got mine the line was half way across the room. We hung out a bit longer till 1st period and turns out my friend Jermey was in my first period which was pretty cool but our friend Stephanie was flipping out because she can't stand our combined "intelligence" but it's easy to tell she's a friend because even if she hates our stupidity she still talks to us and stuff and wants us to be her partners even though she gives us the loser sign the second she sees one of us. 2nd period was cool because all the teacher did was tell us what walking class was about and then we sat around in the gym for about an hour. My friends Brad and Campy (Danny) were talking about computers most of the time so I was completely lost and just listened to my MP3 player most of the time and watched the muscle headed weight training class attempt at playing basketball. 3rd period was math which is my favorite class even though I suck at the class itself. I got some good friends in there but we don't sit at the same table like last semester so we just threw notes at each other that were complete nonsense. Lunch was pretty cool, my friend Molly is back at school now instead of being home schooled and she said hi but she stood in the lunch line most of the time so we didn't talk much. 4th was band and we got a new clarinet player and at the same time one dropped out. The poor soul, all people who drop out of band in high school are cursed to get hit by a bus. But the new girl was going to join the trumpets but hers was in the shop and played clarinet. It would have been cool to get a new trumpet but I doubt she would be all that good. She says she hasn't played since 7th grade and she got braces and as people have told me its hell to play a brass instrument with braces. Mr. Swecker had surgery done on his arm recently and I had heard rumors we would watch the video of the surgery but we didn't ^^ all though he promised us some really graphic pictures of it tommorow. Oh, and he even complimented Ryan and I on how much we have improved over the semester but I wish he could have put it in a better way X.x he said "At first Eric didn't even know what end of the horn to blow through and Ryan couldn't open his case! Now look at them." World History was pretty cool. Jeremy, Stephanie and I are all in the same class again and sit together. Stephanie always complains she doesn't get it but thats because she just sits there drawing pictures of cats instead of doing the reading which is less then 3 pages. It kinda reminded me of 9th grade when we were all in the same math class and had half of the period to do whatever we wanted and there were only maybe 15 people in the class. We decided to restart our old tradition when we finished our work and Jermey and I passed a paper back and forth drawing random crap on it like superman on crack and a flying whale and a giant mouth that was also the sun and inside it was a man with an axe that had bacon on it! ^^ It's odd what we come up with. Biology was just damn boring and I have no friends in there. After school on the bus I talked with Kim and Melinda about stuff and then we look on the ground and theres a girls pad on in the isle XD I point to it and say " that what I think it is?" and she looks and says "Naw" then she looks again and gos "HOLY CROUTONS!" and then when a little kid was getting on the bus he picks it up and throws it away and the bus driver just gives him this look like o.o "ummmm..." lol. When I got home my day got ever better ^^ because Loki had a good day too because she got a uber cool haircut and everybody complimented her on it. I wished we could talk more though...The basketball game was good. This asshole wouldn't leave me alone and I told him to fuck off >.> he just wouldn't shut up, damn annoying show off symphonic band dipshit...It was a girls game so there wasn't many people but it was a good game. We were ahead by alot till the third quarter and they started catching up. But in the end we won by 3 points. Well, thats about it I suppose. ^^ I hope the rest of the week goes as good as this day (except for the lil bad parts, I guess it's impossible to have a perfect day but this was still pretty good.)

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

whos to say whats normal

It's odd how lately I tend to only post when something really crappy or bad happens? (well, there is one big crappy bad thing that happened but umm...that one I'd rather not post about) Well this thing is sort of on the fence so to speak. It's really bad but it could get worse. My friend Joel is really in a bad situation. His dad is forcing soo much pressure on him it's breaking him down. Lately he's had these attacks where he laughs and cries at the same time and can't really decide what to feel. His dad has gotten on has pretty bad about school because he has been having really bad grades even though hes really smart, just not wanting to apply himself. He is already clinically depressed and his dad always complaining about his work (who is a teacher at his school) is not helping. I really worry about him. He says on monday he took twenty sleeping pills...Luckily nothing bad happened. He already takes counseling and such and it doesn't seem to work to well. His friends and I talk to him and it seems we might help. It's just hard to tell knowing him he might simply be manipulating us. Being as crafty and ingenious as he is (even though he may not seem it) he could just be all tricking us into thinking we're helping, I just hope thats not the case. What is especially tricky is his outlook onlife. He knows there is no right or wrong, good or evil, just simply ideas, and he knows that all humans are basically machines that are here to reproduce and we can manipulate ourselves into thinking how ever we want to think. His logic just makes too much sense that it becomes hard to argue with him. I just hope what I said to him may help in some miniscule way, so that maybe his life will not end by his own hand. I love him like a brother and I don't want to lose him...We have known each other since kindgarten and he's the best friend I have. I'm just really scared for him and this has been going on for a while even if he doesn't show it. To think he would have died if those sleeping pills actually worked, to think that he attempted to take his own life is think I could be standing over his coffin with an everlasting smile on his face, one that was glued to his face in attempts to have us remember the good old times, have us think he died happy when it was really his overwhelming frustration and sadness that got to him....its overpowering....

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

A Night of Learning

Well my dad finally had a talk with my sister about her converting to Islam. I guess now I've learned why I developed a habit of eves dropping, it's how I find things out that people wont tell me. It just bugs the hell out of me when people don't tell me things that are important or involve me somehow. It's like they can't trust me or think I'm ready for this information. But before I write an entire paper I might as well write this down while it's fresh in my mind. My sister came out of her room crying when my dad finally came home from pool. He was half way through the kitchen when she burst out in tears. Turns out when my mom called from Arkanasas they had gotten onto the subject of driving and soon it progressed to how my mom was becoming emberrased to be seen with my sister in public because part of being a Muslim is that you must cover nearly every part of your skin except your hands and face and my mom thought that instead of hiding herself from the prying eyes on men and their hormones that she was actually drawing attention to herself from every sex and age. She kept asking why my parents cannot except her ideas. But now I know where I have learned to think, it was as if the words that I would have spoke went straight from my mind and out my dads throat. (well except for the refrences to his youth and such. It turns out my dad was once mormon which is pretty much opposite what we have grown up as. For those who don't know mormons are known for going to church every single day of the week but once my dad was eighteen and moved out he hasn't gone to church since. He found it to just be more of a social gathering rather than worship.) There was alot of different subjects flying that they debated over but a couple things did get run over a couple times. My dad said "Your getting to serious way to fast and your letting all of this break apart our family and we can't do anything together." He meant this because in Islam you must pray many times a day and my dad likes to do things with us sometimes but she doesn't want to go because she has to pray. And of course she used some of the oldest and most common teenage phrases "Why can't you just let me do what I want? It's not effecting you." But like I said there was alot going on but the base of it all was like my dad said, she is going way to fast and I would have to agree with that. Lately she has gone Muslim crazy, decorating her room, reading the Qua'rn nonstop, her desktop and my space and every customizable type of electronic medium is decked out in Muslim like an obsessed college kid but with caligraphy, and she already didn't eat meat but her diet hasn't exactly gotten all that much better since converting (Imagine my crappy diet, no fruits or veggies only minus the meat which is basically my only source of nutrients even if they are fattening)and ordering things off the internet like fancy headscarfs and books. I think it really is outside forces, i.e. friends that have gotten her convert. We have had this sort of problem in my family once before but to a lesser extent since it did not effect the entire family as much. She once converted to wicca and she wanted to go to all sorts of meetings and things but my mom wouldn't let her. My sister tried to get her to read a book she had found to maybe get her to understand but my mom never really did even though she said she did. Also one time my mom placed a clothes hanger on my sisters dresser but turns out she had proclaimed her drawers bursting with underwear an altar of sorts and she exploded on my mom. I don't really know what happened with that and all, it just seemed to fade. For a while the pictures of stars and became painted over and now they have reappeared instead as stars and cresent moons. I guess it really is those teenage years of gullibility and confusion that has caused her to hop around from one way of explaining life to another. Also it could have something to do with the fact that three of her boyfriends cheated on her and now she thinks if she hides herself from guys they wont see her as just a woman and as a person which is what the religion believes in but from my point of view, no offense to her or anything, but shes probably just using that as an excuse. I think these friends of hers that she has may not exactly be legitimate since apparently they have tricked her into paying for their international calls or at least I think they have, I was in the other room and it was kind of hard to hear so not all of this may be correct. My dad said "You think you know these people because you have talked to them over the internet but thats not enough." But the thing is in his opinion time is no factor in that situation, thinking no matter how long you talk to someone other than face to face you will never know them and I just have to disagree. Me and Loki know each other extremely well but thats because we have known each other for close to a year 4 months so we have had time. I think that is why my mom wasn't exactly excited about the idea of going to see Loki for a month because I met her over the internet and is using the excuse that she will miss me instead of telling me the truth. I guess that will have to be another conversation for another post but I am more than sure I can persuade her in numerous ways. It's a really good thing she met Loki and they got along well (My mom still thinks its funny how she went "So, Eric's mom! What is up!?") and if our moms talk I know she will be perfectly comfortable letting us get together. Although my dad is a completely different story. He says that I'm too young to get tied up in a relationship and doesn't want me to go. I guess now the only way to go is to get mom to back me up and if she's not 100% set on letting me go then I'm screwed...But all and all I guess I have learned somethings and thats what life is about. Now I'm actually glad I did that religion project and know why we did it in the first place lol.