Friday, July 15, 2005

TO.othpaste! The story of Jhonny Dangerfield

I was hyper for some reason after brushing my teeth (BRUSHING! I did NOT, I swear, did NOT eat the toothpaste even though that sounds like something I would do and what you are about to read may have you think otherwise) and decided to just be myself and write down whatever the hell popped into my head! ENJOY OR FEAR THE FATE OF 23 SKIDOO! O.o

So little billy be brushing his teeth when 'WAM!' a little old mexican man comes in with a roll of quaters and says "Lets go get some rabbits and sell them to sharks!" so little billy and the old man, who soon reveals that he is indeed Jhonny Dangerfield. THey being walking down the street and soon run into Willis from that one show where the midget man is always like "WHAT YOU TALKING BOUT WILLIS!?" who also turns out to be the man who controls the rats AND a monkey...."But Willis my main slap jack, how come your a monkey?" "Well" says the monkey with utmost wisdom "I'm off to the pillow factory to go kill some old people! Because ya know, the most deadly weapon known to old people is a pillow." "You can go ahead and do that pancake mcjack." said the old man as he and billy continued to walk towards the video game arcade. "SO! If only they could somehow make something that allows you to read a book and play a massively violent game at the same time, then einstein would come back to life as a brain sucking mutant in an iron clad groin cup! Because they always say that the loins of a walrus can end up on the greener side of an iceberg." "Yes little billy....but you desperately need to go take you medication before your foot explodes and the evil brittany spears mutants fly from the portal of hell that you have just produced!" Said the old man as he smacked a dance dance revolution mat with a halibut in attempts to beat the game at its own game. But soon they were kicked out by the dumbass geek of a star treck/wars (and they are both actually the same thing, its just a huge conspiracy to cover up that coke and pepsi are also the same company and that mountain dew is actually owned by the billy goats gruff) Deciding that they should go make some peanut butter fudge they went ahead and created a time machine to go back to the time of the pharoas and ask them "What kind of peanut is in the shape of a beetle that is also the name of the hit popular tv show "If only I had a rusty shovel."? But of course the mummy from The Mummy soon destroyed them and took off their feet to make lampshades and lived happliy ever after as he used said lamps to read his captain underpants books.

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