Friday, July 29, 2005

TO.othpaste! Bears, Pinecones, and Ebay, Oh My!

Little Jhonnys adventures had been amazing, great, perilous, exciting, chicken filled, and covered in that one egg condimet thing otherwise known as mayo, but he had never faced such a threat as camping in the wild deep wilderness of the outdoors without a flap jack in sight to comnfort him as the bald eagles pelted him with comic books about cellphone related deaths. Setting up the tent that just happed to be made of freeze dried paper bits that were that of those made of a donkey that happened to have alot of pizazz and/or pizzas, which other one is pink on the outside and holds many types of colored reptiles that once relased shall devour all that man has created but what this has to do with camping, noone will ever know....so back to the streakers and the birds and the bees and such that you can find in our fair american wildrness. The oompa loompas were ripe on the vine that fair winter morrow and ready for the lickings by the chocolate covered pinecones (the pinecones really never knew how much pi they could consume so they often stuck their feet up each other ass and danced merrily) and then...well what do you expect them to do? Bear birth to the candy cane king of woopty fricking doo poo skidoo!? THEY ALL ATE EACH OTHERS HAIR AND THEN PEED ON THE SUPERMAN! God you stupid bluetards! (<--- inside joke. if you laughed your a fricking.....bluetard on cheese. and not just any cheese! electronica with a side of dog hair kind of electronica spent with the days of our lives kids and then stuck in a mental institution with the all seeing, all knowing, pancake man!) So.....back to lil Jhonny....he went camping and soon died of a sexually transmitted disease because he ate a pine cone that was covered in a strange sauce...kind of like that actor from space ghost coast to coast....except without the diaper...and the razor sharp jello mold stuck on his head...he suuuuuuuure did like his apples...and lampshades that had a strange foot fungus....but good thing ebay keeps those sorta things in sticl when you really need a cheap laugh at the golden globe awards when Micheal Jackson/Jordan gets stabbed in the face with a quarter inch booger covered in lactic acid! But then again...this has nothing to do with camping so lil Jhonny just killed every living thing within a 93759823702378598237 mile radius, including Tanya Heartfelt Gesture And Then Stab In The Back By Gonads Man-ba-dingo. And then the man-ba-dingo laughed with glee as he slept within the insides of a beehive covered in Steven Kings underwear.

1 comment:

~u'r #1 fan said...

Hahaha!*Falls over with laughter*