Sunday, December 26, 2004

My problem

Who wants to hear about my life? Huh anyone? Well I'm gonna say what I've been meaning to say for a long time. I am in love and I'm confused,worried,happy,sad,and fucking scared right now. Loki has a dangerous life and there is nothing I can do to help her. Everyday I sit in my room thinking "I hope she's ok." I know she can handle herself in a fight but I worry. If I was there I would try to help her get through the best I can and try to comfort her after what just happened but all I can do is write. If she was in a hospital bed hooked up to a breather dieing slowly all I can do is sit here worry my ass off and just try and imagine what happened while I click clear off pop ups. I am confused and nobody can help me. I have never been in love until I met Loki and I'm as close to 100% sure about that as I possibly can be but there is always that sliver of doubt that overcomes me from time to time. The worst part is my family can never know about it. All they would do is judge and make fun of me. They can never know about what is happening or 1 of 3 things will happen. 1 I will never get a chance to see Loki or 2 make fun of me for being in love or 3 they will make me take counciling. Not many people have my kind of problem. I'm sort of like a worried parent while their child is in a war. All I can do is write to her and worry if she's ok 24/7. If your reading this Loki you know how much I worry about you sometimes and I don't want you to get upset about that. I know every word I write in this you get more and more anxious about summer and your mind gets more cluttered. All that I'm asking is for you to do is be careful sometimes. I know your true to your word and will most likely go to the "new years eve party" and you should know what I'm talking about when I say that. Next time you get a chance please come online because I really want to talk to you about something.

1 comment:

Kyael said...

Listen.. er read, I know its hard and all, belive me. But you (and I ) gotta look at the bright side to it all, There are people who are willing to listen and give advise, your not the only person though it is VERY much apreciated when you do. Although you worry and can't do much, your not alone.. I worry about y'know who and well. you know my perdicament. Sure its not the same in some aspects, but we both worry and such. Just remember You have friends. We'll listen and help as much as we can.. Though we may just be a voice on a phone or text in a box (like this) we're here for ya, and your here for us. Just hang in there and hope for the best.