Wednesday, August 09, 2006

journal for once in a 100 years

Well I wanted to write one of these for the lack of one in months upon months. Well I guess the biggest change yet would definately have to be Loki and I breaking up. I don't want to go into too much detail because I know I will rant on and on and on. She says that I was too nice to her for all the things shes done, and I guess I would have to agree with that. I was scared because this was my first relationship and I hardly knew what to do 50% of the time, so I was nice as I possibly could be and never really layed down the law so to speak when she did something I didn't agree with. I was being way too sugar coated and clingy in a way. We're still friends and that helps me...I still love her more than anything and I always will but I eventually I will move on. I may be sad now but I refuse to give up on myself and even if it takes a while, I know things will get better. Loki will always be in my heart for all that she had done for me. She as the first to ever truly love me for who I am, she knew me better than even Joel who I've known since kindergarten, she taught me to be myself and how to be more open in what I really think and believe, and one of my favorites is she taught me to finally be able to stand up to the assholes that try and make fun of me instead of being silent.
Well ok enough of that, I've done well enough not to dwell on things too much already and I don't want to be depressed because thats not going to help me or anyone around me...But onto other recent events I suppose. I went to the Clark County Fair yesterday and Alice Cooper had a concert! XD Loki is jealous. I would have told her about it but I didn't even know that he was playing until I heard Schools Out For Summer was playing and giant balloons were flying everywhere ^^; sorry Loki, I would have told ou if I knew. But ya know...maybe I'm a point or two cooler now. And while we were at the fair we bought a hot tub!!! n.n YAY! Getting a gazeebo thingy and putting in a patio majiger. Although whats not awesome is having to tear up the lawn with shovels all day in the hot sun to be able to put it in x.x ugh, blisters. But it is totally gonna be worth it ^^ HOT TUB PARTY!!! mwhuahahaha o.O I will be the party master for once!
Now on the subject of hot tubs, my friend Molly and I are trying to start a band sometime in the future. Originally se wanted an irish punk band but seeing as noone can play bag pipes we're just going to make music hat sounds good to us which partly explains our name, Hot Tub Orgy, an orgy of musical tastes ^^ So far we got trumpet, guitar, keyboard, and a vocalist. Although we gotta get to practiing our indivdual instruments seeing as Joel doesn't practice much, Molly hasn't sung for nearly a year and even then she didn't even know note names, then Brittany needs to learn keyboard in the first place. I'm probably the best player in the band amazingly...
But yeah, thats about all except maybe school coming and all...weee...

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