Sunday, April 02, 2006

something to work on during spring break maybe

Funny how the world had always looked from high above, all the horrors of life pulled back down to earth by gravity letting your soul soar from the lightened load. Sitting high atop an old roller coaster car which was stuck at the peak of the hill, such a place of mixed emotions it is up there. Feelings of adventure, of terror, or excitement, of love and trust as you rode along with that special someone because you felt comfortable near them while taking that first plunge off a two hundred foot drop. Looking about the world as the sun set on such a serene day, wispy clouds that dared not hold rain, floating above the world allowing ones imagination to decipher its true shape and form. A glow of warmth still shone over the horizon as a gentle breeze blew about, warming yet bringing about the sweet smell that is the end of summer. Down below was the tattered streets of an abandoned theme park, trash strew about yet the still faint scent of cotton candy could be detected. Looking out it all spread out into the parking lot, a desert of sorts with rows of streetlights just barely flickering as they prepared to offer light in the dark only to the ghosts that did dwindle there now. Asphalt soon gives way to a nearby forest in the softened distance. Past all the humanity there was nothing but nature leading out to the edges of the world meeting up with the orange of the sun which shone its own form of rainbows upon the clouds. It is all a sight to behold, one that I would keep in the background of my mind forever. “This roller coaster just seems ever so slightly like life to some.” I said to myself, the only audible sounds above the wind being the tweets of birds as the leaves did shiver. “Life begins out as you claw your way to the top ever so slowly, click by click, feeling each jostling tug as you begin to crescendo to the climax. Excitement rising as you reach toward the future that you had once planned upon. But at that peak you do not have the time to enjoy what lies in wait for you, a beautiful world of colors and where the world seems endless. And then…” I laughed to myself deep in my throat. “the world sends you down hill, plummeting towards the ground and all you can do…” slowly I did pull myself out of the car of the roller coaster, my shoes leaving intricate patterns of blood down the stairs towards the car station. The severed head of a young blonde girl lain beside me, blood trailing mascara down upon her now pail and lifeless cheeks, her golden locks were matted with clots of blood that rooted from a ten inch knife protruding from her skull, the body laid twisted upon the floor while blood still seeped from the stump of her neck. A crow flew down from a nearby tree and landed in the sea of maroon, picking at the layers of muscles and veins. “Is hang on for your life…”

2 comments:

Cheese-ness said...

Wow...I am amazed. If I left any sort of negative critique I'd feel bad because I honestly can't find a thing about it that's bad. I love it. The end was truely a surprise and just...wow.

Kyael said...

What Cheese said, its hard to find anything to give suggestions on... The detail is great, the idea is too... All I can say is you might want to explain more about the roller coaster, why did is stop at the top, and was there any one else on it, or just the blonde girl and the speaker? Mystery is nice, don't get me wrong... saying whether or not they are alone can enhance the feeling of the story the reader gets.